Walk? (yawn)

1.       Traffic lights at pedestrian crosswalks. They flash “walk” or “don’t walk.” But I’d like to have mystery traffic lights that surprise us? How about “run” and “don’t run”? This gets the heartbeat up and good for our health. I mentioned this suggestion to Jerry and he said, “If people run, they have a better chance of tripping or darting out in front of a car, so walking is better.” But is it? We can look both ways and make a note not to trip no matter what the sign commands. How about a “Hootchie Cootchie” and “Don’t Hootchie Cootchie” traffic light? Pedestrians would cross the road while shaking their shoulders and hips. The traffic lights could have speakers as Creedence Clearwater belts out: “Big wheel keep on turnin’, Proud Mary keep on burnin’
Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ on the river
Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ on the river.”

~ Life can be ho-hum, same-old, same-old and we forget to have fun. And fun is a good thing. It helps us forget our problems, improves our mood, and lowers stress levels. So until we have mystery traffic lights, we can make up our own fun. Take time out to do what you love to do. Get a water gun and spray your husband. Turn on some music and sing. And if you can’t think of anything fun, ask a kid because they’re good at that.

Oh! Ha! Ha! Suggesting traffic lights have Hootchie Cootchie.

2.       Free Things. I noticed an e-mail in my inbox with the words “FREE, FREE, FREE” in the subject line. It came from our community website and I wondered what our neighbors might offer for free. I like free, so I had to see what it might be. Sometimes people give away 55-inch screen TVs because they have upgraded to something better, bigger (such as HD 95-inch). I’ve heard of people giving away their piano. I would love to have a free piano and my hopes built as I opened the e-mail. It read: “Free. 32 pairs of disposable underwear.” I can’t express the despair that came over me. I had it planned where my free piano would fit in the living room. Or my 55-inch TV. I have no idea who became the lucky recipient of the free disposable underwear, but I’m wondering…Why not have disposable clothing? This would definitely free up laundry days. That way when someone compliments your outfit, you can say, “Thank you. I do love it so, but it will be in the trash tonight.”

3.       Loud Voices. The reason I like working out on the treadmill at the gym is because I can catch up on my favorite TV shows. The treadmill has a tiny TV and I can watch the Food Network and not even realize I’m working out. The other day while in the gym, I heard a man on the elliptical shout in a booming voice to another man on another elliptical, “HEY FRED, WHY AREN’T YOU DOWN HERE? DON’T YOU LIKE ME?” Fred hollers back, “I LIKE THIS MACHINE.” By this time, I had turned up the volume on the treadmill’s TV so I could hear why the contestant’s Shepherd’s Pie came out runny, but the men continued to holler across the gym to each other and I couldn’t hear. Now, if we had gym police who would notify the offenders that shouting in the gym is not considerate of those watching “Chopped,” I would be extraordinarily happy. I would have loved to see these two hollering gentlemen have a time-out to think about using their indoor voices, or no voices at all.  I think a gym jail would be a nice solution, far from the gym and very cramped so the unpleasant nature of the environment would cause hollerers to be more considerate of those of us on the treadmill trying to figure out why the Shepherd’s Pie came out runny.

Trying to keep up with the Goodreads Challenge so you won’t be notified of what a loser you are.

4.       Goodreads. Two years ago I signed up for the reading challenge on the Goodreads website. At the beginning of the year, you tell Goodreads how many books you plan to read that year. At the end of the year Goodreads announces how many books you read and if you met your goal. It also gives you interesting information, like the longest book you read, the shortest book, the book most popular with other readers, etc. This year Goodreads is tracking my progress and recently informed me that I’ve only read 10 books and named someone I know who is also in the challenge and stated that she has read 23 books in the same amount of time. Goodreads had the nerve to ask, “Do you need a boost?” What’s that about? I’m too slow? First off, Goodreads, I’ve read 12 books. And second, does Goodreads not realize how demoralizing it can be to hear that someone else is so much better than you? We all need encouragement but this is not the way to do it. It reminds me how much we need to hear of our success rather than our failure. We don’t strive to do better when we’re told what a loser we are. We all need encouragement, to hear what we’re doing right and not what we’re doing wrong. I’m currently reading Nicholas and Alexandra by Robert K. Massie and it has 538 pages. And Goodreads, no thank you. I don’t need a boost and you’ll just have to wait.

5.       Potholders. I say they go in the kitchen drawer. Jerry says they’re in the way in the drawer and they must be on the shelf with the pots and pans. Now who puts potholders on the shelf with the pans? We are having a potholder war over here. So far neither of us have won. I keep my potholders in the drawer and Jerry keeps his on the shelf. Potholder war continues at the Wilson household.

This is where Jerry insists potholders belong.

Don’t you just love Bronwyn’s blog, Bill?…You know I do, Boris!

6.       Being Fabulous. The other day at the grocery store the checker greeted me with “how are you?” I said, “Good. How are you?” She flashed her eyes at me with a fierce, I-want-to-kill expression and said in an angry tone, “Fabulous!” I probably wouldn’t have paid much attention if she had said, “I’m good.” But fabulous? She wasn’t feeling fabulous. Maybe she stood on her feet too long or maybe the person ahead of me had needed a price check and the stock person took forever to get a price, I don’t know. I do know this, “If you’re feeling fabulous, act fabulous.”

You can look up wikiHow and it actually gives steps in how to be fabulous in offering tips for fashion. But I think being fabulous is an attitude as explained in these quotes:

Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional.
— Unknown
You may be disappointed if you fail, but you are doomed if you don’t try.
— Beverly Sills
It’s choice – not chance – that determines your destiny.
— Jean Nidetch

We can all spruce up our wardrobe and hair, that’s easy. But it’s not as easy to hold an optimistic attitude when trials come into our life. Or when we’re having a hard day at work like in a grocery store checking groceries hour after hour. We can get angry or depressed (and depression has been my favorite choice as well as my downfall) when bad things happen. But it only hurts us further. However, I’ve discovered that my attitude changes when I pray and that’s when I begin to have hope for whatever the future brings.  When I have inner peace and hope, that’s when I feel fabulous.