A woman in the booth behind me blurted, “WHA-AAAAT?”

Moments earlier, Jerry and I had congratulated ourselves on choosing a booth where we could enjoy quiet in one of our favorite lunch spots. Jerry bit into his grilled ham and cheese sandwich and I took a delicate swig of my coffee.

I couldn’t see the woman, but I could hear her over the café’s chattering, kitchen-clanking din. Her agitated outburst continued, “I DON’T WANT TO BE NEGATIVE HERE, BUT WHY DID SHE SEND EVERYONE AN EMAIL ABOUT ME? SHE HASN’T SAID ANYTHING TO ME.”

Leaning over our table, I whispered to Jerry, “Did you hear that?” Jerry had obviously not allowed his thoughts to be distracted by a loud-talking woman in the adjoining booth.

“WHAT?” he said loudly.

“I’LL TELL YOU LATER,” I shouted back.

The woman’s remark–“I don’t want to be negative”– stuck with me. Most of us don’t want to be negative. But situations come up all the time making it a challenge to do so. Especially if someone betrays us and sends emails about us to others. You know you’d feel like shouting in a restaurant too.

We all have the capacity to be positive if we consciously choose. This became clear to me years ago when Jerry and I visited Disneyland. At the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, a Disney employee, (or cast member as they call themselves), stood in front of the ride’s entrance to inform potential riders the attraction was closed due to faulty equipment. Upon hearing the ride would be closed until the equipment could be repaired, a tall, lanky man said in anger, “If this weren’t Disneyland, I’d cuss right now.

In other words, he would not cuss at the “Happiest Place on Earth.” But in J.C. Penny’s he could cuss all he wants if the situation called for it. He could cuss at IHOP if they ran out of his favorite pancakes, “No Belgian Dark Chocolate Mousse pancakes today! (well, blankity, blank, blank, blank you IHOP!)”

Sometimes we just don’t feel like making the effort to be positive. Okay, some of you do. But what about the rest of us?  We hate the heat, the ice, the snow, the rain, the dust, the scorpions, the slugs, and the sappy commercials on bladder leakage. We hate people who hate people who hate things. We hate slow WiFi.

It seems we only try to be positive at Disneyland, Christmas, birthdays, or special occasions. How many times have you heard of couples splitting up right after New Year’s Day? They don’t want to ruin the holidays, so they wait until the festivities are over and ruin January.

I wonder what makes us negative? Maybe it’s learned at an early age. I recently watched a young girl, maybe 7 or 8 years old, go down the cereal aisle and pick out box after box of sugary cereal. She would hold each box up, “Mom, can I have Cinnamon Toast Crunch?” Her mother said, “No.” This did not deter the young girl. “Reeses Puffs?” “Cookie Crisp?” “Count Chocula?”  At each new presentation of each new box of cereal, her mother replied, “No, and no, and no-ooo you have that one at home!”

Maybe we just get so used to hearing “no” as children, we grow up feeling in a “no” mood. Add to this, the constant media feeding us bad news of people acting badly in bad situations.

I recall seeing a bumper sticker in Seattle during the 1990s that stated: “Outta my way, I need a latte.” Why be positive when we just want people to get out of our way?

Many of us want to be positive and that’s why the book The Power of Positive Thinking became a bestseller. But we’re wired to defend ourselves against threat and loss. We spend a lot of time ruminating over our frustrations and hurts. Negative emotions managed poorly affect our health. Think chronic anxiety, depression, cardiovascular disease, and digestive disorders–to name a few.

A positive attitude has shown to contribute to good health and well-being.

Can we be positive all the time? I think so. Here’s the trick. Focus on the good rather than the bad. Remember, “Every cloud has a silver lining.”

In Arizona, however, we don’t have clouds very often. So I’ll rephrase to fit the appropriate geographical meaning to my own life in the desert. “Every cactus has needles that can sink painfully into your flesh.”

I know I’m uplifted, and I hope you are uplifted too.

βω♥