A few days ago, I learned the sad truth. Facebook harms your sense of well-being and the well-being of others.
According to a research-based study at the University of Pennsylvania, Facebook (in addition to Snapchat and Instagram) increases depression and loneliness. Psychologist Melissa G. Hunt who published her research findings in the Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology suggests users reduce their time spent on social media. “When you look at other people’s lives, particularly on Instagram, it’s easy to conclude that everyone else’s life is cooler or better than yours,” she says.
She has a point. No one posts photos of the unpleasant, boring, miserable events of their lives. No one announces with happy grin and toilet brush, “I’m cleaning the bathroom now.” I haven’t yet come across a post stating, “Here’s a picture of me slouched on the couch, in my pajamas, doing nothing.”
Instead, we see vacation photos of our friend’s river cruise on the Rhine. The Facebook post shows our friend lounging on the ship’s deck, feet up, drink in hand, all smiles while gazing at majestic castles on the riverbank. You, on the other hand, remain at home getting ready to clean the cat’s litter box. According to the research study, social comparison takes over and you begin to feel depressed. Your friend enjoys a European adventure while you need to drive to the store to buy more Tidy Cat.
It’s not that social comparison is a new concept. It has been around for a long time. As a child, I often heard the phrase “keeping up with the Joneses” (not the Kardashians). I had no idea who the Joneses were, but it seemed everyone wanted to have whatever they had.
Back then, I only wanted to keep up with Winifred. She had a color TV. My family, and everyone else in our neighborhood, had a black and white TV. Winifred, the red-haired girl who lived down the street, bragged she watched Bonanza in color. She viewed the Ponderosa all aglow in green fir trees and glistening blue sky. Oh! Oh! If only I, too, could see the Ponderosa in color—my life would be complete.

See the black evergreens in the background? The dark gray sky? You see the injustice, I’m sure.

Fortunately, Facebook didn’t exist back then. I didn’t have to endure Winifred’s pictures and posts announcing, “Here I am watching Bonanza on my color TV.”

With this in mind, I have an idea that might solve the increased depression and loneliness caused by social media.
We need a media platform where everyone posts their tedious chores, their humdrum routine, their miseries and general unhappy moments.
We might call it Miserable&BoredBook. On this site, we wouldn’t see postings of enjoyable good times. Not even semi-good posts like, “I’m at Dairy Queen enjoying an ice cream Oreo Cookie Blizzard.” Instead, we would see posts announcing boring or miserable moments, such as, “I’m at Dairy Queen with a severe headache from a brain freeze.” Perhaps you’d feel compassion for the person. But that feeling would disappear quickly as you realize your own brain feels pretty good. Suddenly, you feel a burst of well-being.
The more we see how miserable and bored other people are, the happier we become. We will conclude everyone’s life is no better than ours. Some even have it worse. Oh, how good we feel!
I have a color TV now and I can watch all the Bonanza reruns I want. I can witness the Ponderosa awash in shimmering green pines if I want to. But that desire left me long ago. Over the years I’ve learned a few things…
Here’s what I know: 1) Not everything you want is cracked up to be what you think it is. 2) Everyone has their down days as well as their up. 3) Too much Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat induces gas pains.
I admit, I haven’t taken a river cruise on the Rhine. However, I have ridden a fancy riverboat along the Seine River. I can tell you this–the glittering panoramic sights of Paris were a dream-come-true, and more magnificent than I ever imagined. I’m sure you’re happy for me. I posted my fabulous Paris photos on Facebook soon after my trip. But I think the bliss I experienced calls for another posting. Stay tuned.

-βω♥