Recently, yesterday actually, Jerry and I celebrated our wedding anniversary. We have had many happy anniversary celebrations throughout our marriage. Except one. I don’t remember which anniversary it was, maybe the fourteenth or twenty-second, but I remember we dined at a fancy seafood restaurant called Seastar in Bellevue, Washington. The candlelit ambience had a romantic feel. Somehow, Jerry and I got into a heated discussion while dining on applewood grilled halibut. Angry looks shot back and forth. I don’t remember what it was we were arguing over. What I do remember is Jerry saying, “Drive yourself home.” He then got up from the table and headed toward the door. I had no idea where he planned to go. Would he call a taxi (this was before Uber and Lyft)? Did he plan on staying at a nearby hotel, meet some lonely woman in the hotel lounge, tell her his troubles while she comforts him, saying, “You must have a very mean wife”? I couldn’t let this happen and I managed to get Jerry to come back to our table and talk things over in a gentle way. I don’t remember if we worked things out while dining on pricey fish, but we rode home together.

Why am I telling you this? I want you to know that I have had a lot of experiences in my life, and I got through them. I’m here now to tell you some of the things I have learned along the way. You may be young or old or middle-aged. It doesn’t matter. We learn from each other.

Our treetop cabin in Oak Creek Canyon, where we celebrated our recent wedding anniversary. The card on the table welcomes us back, although we had never been to this resort.

Here are eight life lessons for wedded bliss.

(Seven, actually, but eight is a nice round number.)

1. 1. Always marry a person who loves animals. They might love viewing them at the zoo or having them in their house. If you’re in the dating process and the person you’re romantically interested in says, “I’m not a cat person or a dog person or a squirrel person. I don’t like animals.” Red flag right there. Do you want to be married to someone who won’t share in the cleanup of cat puke on the furniture or carpet? Do you want someone who won’t help siphon out the algae in the aquarium? You don’t, I can assure you.
   2. If your special, forever person loves cats, you will have someone to comfort you when the cats show no appreciation for all you do for their happiness. Before you go on a trip, you hire a pet sitter to come to your house once a day to feed them and play with them. You write her an email explaining the various personalities of each of your two or twenty cats. When you return from your trip, the cats will not even know you. They will look at you with wide, horrified eyes believing you are an intruder. They have bonded with the pet sitter who not only fed them but gave them fun cat toys and a catnip pillow. What do they need you for? Be prepared to be dumped by your cats whenever you leave for a day or a week. Your animal-loving spouse will hopefully comfort you and say, “That’s okay, I still love you sometimes.”
   3. Your spouse included the word “sometimes” because you just returned from a road trip together and it wasn’t always hearts and roses. If the husband was driving, and you said to him, “You just turned down a highway that will take us fifteen miles out of our way,” he will frown. Flames will shoot out of his ears, but he remains quiet. When he says the gas tank is almost on empty and you say, “There’s a gas station over there” and point to one across the street, he says, “I can’t easily get over there. I need to find one on the right side.” You drive on and not one gas station shows up on the right side. You drive out of town into barren land. A road sign says: Cottonwood 15 miles. You hope you make it to Cottonwood before your car runs out of the last drop of gas. You don’t want to say anything, but something comes over you and you say, “We could have stopped for gas back there at the Conoco station that I suggested. You could have just turned around at the traffic light.” Fire shoots from his side of the car to your side. You have singed hair, and smoke pours from your husband’s ears. You hope to gain some gratefulness when you save both of your lives. You say in the nicest way possible, “The traffic ahead is slowing down,” to make sure your husband notices and doesn’t slam into the cars ahead. He barks, “I’m driving,” then steps on the gas.
   4. I suggest, to maintain wedded bliss, taking separate cars to get to your wedding anniversary destination.
   5. One other very handy tip is to tell the proprietor of the bed and breakfast or hotel that it’s your wedding anniversary when you book your room or cabin. Otherwise, you won’t get rose petals on the bed, flickering candlelight around the bathtub or chocolate-dipped strawberries. Instead, you will find a handwritten card on the table in your cabin, thanking you for your return to their establishment. You’re not a returning regular. You’ve never seen the place before. Thankfully, you have some chocolate chip cookies you picked up in the lobby at the main lodge.  
   6. I don’t know why, but there’s something about a wedding anniversary getaway that makes you want to commemorate the event. When wandering the local town, you buy expensive, matching, handcrafted coffee cups at the cute pottery shop. If you saw the same cups at Target on a regular day, you would certainly not buy one. You would think, What? Thirty-two dollars for a coffee cup! They’re out of their minds. And we don’t need more coffee cups anyway. But go on your anniversary trip and the coffee cups seem like a must on your romantic getaway. You will have a wonderful memento to remember your special occasion. 
   7. For some reason, and I’m not sure why, but signing up for Amazon Prime makes your marriage much better. You get fast shipping and discounts at Whole Foods. This makes you happy. No matter how expensive the item is on Amazon, you say to your husband or wife, “I got free shipping!” That makes your purchase seem like a fantastic deal. And when you go to Whole Foods, which your husband calls Whole Paycheck, you tell him, “I saved $2.85 because we’re Prime members.” He’s happy. And you’re happy. I recently read that money is the number one issue that married couples argue about. But if you’re a Prime member, you don’t argue about money. Ever.
   8. Finally, always wear a jacket to the breakfast buffet at the hotel or lodge or wherever it is served. If you see a dish full of hard-boiled eggs with the shell on, you can put one in your pocket and split it later with your husband when you’re back at home. When you hand him half, say, “Happy anniversary.” It will make him smile and forget all the bossy things you said earlier.        ~BW
      

      I saved the hard-boiled egg and shared it with Jerry when we were back at home.

This was our view while having breakfast. A lady seated in a nearby table said to me, “Isn’t this delightful?” Yes, yes it was.