Don’t Say Words That Start With P

 

As a young child, I made a rule for my mom to follow.

Whenever I heard Mom say words beginning with the letter P, I clapped my hands over my ears. I then stated my rule in my best displeased voice, “Mom, don’t say words that start with the letter P.”

I made this rule due to the way Mom pronounced P-words. She didn’t just say “potato.” She said “PUH-tay-toe” with the PUH-sound having strong emphasis. She said other P-words with similar intensity like PIH-ckle and POHP-corn and PEE-aches. This didn’t settle well with my ears.

In my young mind, she could blow out the glass in our windows with one extra loud shout of “Mr. PUH-tato HEAD!”

I didn’t understand why Mom didn’t take my rule seriously. She continued to offend me by speaking in P-words. “Is that your Silly PUHT-ty smashed on the rug?” “Time to PUT the PUH-lay Doh away.”  “Tonight, we’re having my PEESE-de résistance, PORRR-cupine meatballs.”

I admit. She may have not used the word pièce de résistance. I was only seven. I had a vast vocabulary at that age but that word probably was not in it.

I recently mentioned this childhood memory to Jerry. He shared his own memory of irritating sound from his past. A girl he once knew spoke in hissing sounds whenever she said words beginning with S like sss-soup and sss-silly and sss-spicy ssss-spaghetti.

In addition to the sounds of words, entire words repeated over and over can also annoy. I knew someone long ago who had the tiresome habit of saying “ya know” after every sentence. She said things like, “Boil the eggs, ya know. A pinch of paprika and a dab of mustard, ya know. A touch of Dijon, ya know.” I found myself drifting off, not even listening to what she was actually saying. Instead, I braced for the next, “ya know.” Oh no…here comes another “ya know.” I wanted to shout, “YA KNOW, I DON’T KNOW! I DON’T WANT TO KNOW. I NEVER WANT TO KNOW.” But that might have seemed rude. Thankfully, she moved away and started saying “ya know” to her new neighbors in another area of the world.

Other than Mom saying P-words, I loved everything else about her. She made the best cookies and birthday cakes; was like a star on her women’s softball team; and took a seasonal position every Christmas at the post office so she could buy my sister and me a ton of presents.

Just so you know, there are words I love the sound of. Like words that begin with T. Texas, Tintinnabulation, Timbuktu, Tinkerbell, terrible twos, tea for two, and too-too-cute tutu. Plus, I named my son a name that starts with T. I would tell you his name, but I can’t for my security purposes.

Truthfully, I don’t like hearing the sound of P words even to this day. I really have to grit my teeth when someone says pumpernickel, or Peabody Awards, or Peppa Pig. And don’t get me started on protractors and paragons and parallelograms.

I didn’t like geometry, and I didn’t care for my geometry teacher always calling me “Brow-nin.” I would say to her, “It’s Bronwyn.” The next day, sure enough, she called me “Brow-nin.”

Let’s forget about geometry, and the handwritten letter threatening a bad grade if I didn’t improve. Well, hah! I transferred to a new school before the teacher’s threat could be executed. Life has a way of working out for the better.

The point is–there are certain sounds many of us don’t like to hear. Most of us don’t like hearing our name butchered on a constant basis. I give a little leeway to people who don’t know how to pronounce a name at first, but after being told and they continue…well, the leeway ends.

Just recently, today actually, I read about misophonia. This is a condition defined by common sounds that cause an atypical emotional response in the affected person.

Most common sounds to illicit a response in the person with misophonia are eating-related sounds like lip-smacking, loud breathing or nose sounds, and typing on a keyboard or pen-clicking sounds. I’m sure the sound of words beginning with P is somewhere on the list of triggers. Not to mention the sound of someone sneezing forty-eight times in a row. I will say “God bless you” maybe the first three times, but then you’re on your own after that.

The constant grating cough, such as I had to endure yesterday while in an antique shop, is more than irritating. While I calmly gazed at the display of 1950s metal lunch boxes with pictures of Roy Rogers and Trigger, I suddenly heard, “cough, hack, hacccchk–ckkk.”  The coughing came from another shopper like me. I felt bad for her for the first five coughs and then she just coughed and coughed and heaved and wheezed. I hurriedly left the antique lunch box room and headed for the antique toy room. While noticing toys from the 80s are now antiques, (really?) I could still hear the woman coughing in the other room. I’m sure now I will have some kind of illness any day now due to her hacking cough germs wafting throughout the shop.

Now, here’s the great part about people with misophonia. We are real-world creative achievers. We’re like geniuses. So, keep that in mind when you’re smacking and popping gum and cracking knuckles around us. Yes, we’re clenching our jaw and glaring at you and we’re not too happy. But, at the same time, we’re planning our next great creative achievement in our genius head.

The answer in dealing with misophonia came to me from an Instagram post. How convenient that was! Since I’m dealing with this condition I just learned about, a lady appeared on Instagram and announced she has ADHD and misophonia. She explained what helps her to get through her day. I wondered what her solution could be since both conditions can be rough for anyone. She said, she wears noise-canceling ear buds.

There you have it, the true secret to happiness.

Thank goodness for informative posts on Instagram.

 

Is that someone popping their gum?

I know what to do. Ahhh. Can’t hear a thing now.

 

♥βω