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I’m Getting Rich In My Laundry Room (and other things I’m thankful for)

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Six Things I’m Thankful For

I think the homeowners had to fight very hard on Black Friday to get this beautiful Christmas tree in blue lights, on sale at Home Depot.

I think the homeowners had to fight very hard on Black Friday to get this beautiful Christmas tree in blue lights at Home Depot.

1. Black Friday

Ordinarily I don’t like any type of event that causes me to get out of bed before noon. And the idea of waking up at 2 a.m. to go shopping while slugging my way through the door has not appealed to me in the past. Some stores give away beautiful snowglobes to the first 50 or so customers racing through their doors on Black Friday. Even that incentive hasn’t encouraged me to experience this fun Friday affair after Thanksgiving. However, I need a pre-lit Christmas tree and I don’t want to spend the big bucks (some cost $1,000). I called Lowes and asked the saleslady if they planned to discount their Christmas trees for Black Friday. “Some,” she said. I asked her when the store opens on that day. “Last year it was 5 a.m., so I think that’s the time it will be this year,” she said. “Oh no!” I wailed, “You’re not serious!” She replied, “You think that’s bad! I have to be here at 4:30 a.m.” Then she wailed. I suddenly felt like we were kindred spirits at this point, so I asked if I could call her a few days before Black Friday to see what trees would be on sale. “Sure,” she said and told me her name is Connie. Even though I now have a friend at Lowes, I’m feeling stress at the thought of waking when it’s still dark outside to get dressed and make the 40 minute drive to Lowes. Really, is a Christmas tree that important? Why don’t I get a 90-inch TV at Best Buy while I’m at it…to make my suffering worthwhile. Even so, I’m thankful for Black Friday as we didn’t have this shopping event after Thanksgiving when I was a kid. Actually we didn’t have fake Christmas trees that look better than fresh-cut trees… like we have today. Back then, fake Christmas trees had branches made of aluminum foil, some had big globs of white, pasty stuff to resemble snow. If you had a fake Christmas tree back then, people actually felt sorry for you. They would whisper to one another, “Do you know Mrs. Smith has one of those artificial trees! Oh poor Mrs. Smith. I can’t even fathom the pain she must feel having to look at that thing on Christmas morning!” Today, fake Christmas trees look exactly like the perfect Christmas tree you always dreamed of but couldn’t find at a Christmas tree lot. Even better, they don’t get pine needles on the floor and don’t need water. You can even spray them with pine scent that smells like the pine woods. How wonderful modern times are! And now we have Black Friday to help us buy one of these precious wonders at 5 a.m. read more

Enjoy Snobbery and Other Reasons To Travel

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girl-at-the-airport

“To travel is to live.” ~ Hans Christian Andersen

12 Reasons It’s Good To Travel

1. Taste new things.

The eggs in England look better and taste richer than U.S. eggs. Our American eggs come from chickens stacked in cages so tiny they can’t move. Or smooshed together in processing factories. Did you know it’s actually illegal to take eggs from the United States to England? Don’t ever be caught smuggling our tasteless eggs to Great Britain. It’s probably a felony. If I were a U.S. chicken crammed into a tiny cage, would I want to produce flavorful eggs with bright orange yolks? I think not. I’d be angry that I’m not running wild and free on someone’s farm like British chickens do. Travel not only brings new tastes, but sorrowful thoughts of oppressed chickens back in the states. read more

How to get what you want

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red cup cafe path

“When you’re on your path to your favorite coffee shop, you must not be afraid to have sufficient courage to express your need of caffeine.”~poignant quote by Bronwyn Wilson

Express your need. It frees your heart and leaves you with a sense of peace.
Here are examples of how it works.

Today I said to Jerry as we wandered the halls of Hobby Lobby, “I need a Christmas tree.” I said this as we strolled past all the lit artificial (but almost realistic-looking) trees twinkling in and about the orange and black Halloween decorations. Hobby Lobby tries to hit you with as many holiday choices at once as they can. Last Christmas, I vowed I would not have my Martha Stewart tabletop Christmas tree another year. The cats have chewed many of its red plastic berries and it’s too small for my many ornaments I’ve saved over the years. Jerry said in reply to my expressed need for a Christmas tree, “Well, Bronwyn, we’d have the same problem as we always have, no place to store it.” I think he thought his lamenting the storage problem made the purchase of a tree a non-starter. I said, “I’ll make room for it in the garage, as you have made room for your motorcycle. And I need a Christmas tree as you needed a motorcycle.” The conversation ended there. Silence. We headed to Home Depot where Jerry planned to pick up some air filters and while there I noticed a tall artificial Christmas tree with changing colors in gorgeous LED lights. The sales clerk decided to give me a demonstration just as Jerry walked up and stood beside me. “It has blue, and orange, and green and red lights,” she said, flipping the remote to show the various colors. “I didn’t see the purple lights,” I told her. She switched the remote to purple. “It glowed in purple majesty.” The sales clerk added, “This tree costs $398 and there’s no way I would pay that.” I wondered if Home Depot hired her to persuade customers to not buy their Christmas trees? Maybe she wasn’t a woman but a man posing as a woman. That’s all I can think at the moment for her to make a remark like that. She, or he, should have said, “There are things in life you don’t count the cost of, diamonds, roses, and Christmas trees.” Not her. She said, “Whew! That tree is too expensive for me.” Jerry could have hugged her. Thank you man posing as a saleslady in Home Depot. read more

Sweat on the Seine (and other things I didn’t know, or prepare for, in Paris), part VIII

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This is what you probably think of when you think of Paris.

This is what you probably think of when you think of Paris.

Who thinks of sweat when they think of Paris?

Not me. After all, didn’t Hemingway call Paris a “move-able feast”? He didn’t say a “sweaty feast.” And Audrey Hepburn famously said, “Paris is always a good idea.” She didn’t say it’s a good idea as long as you take along a good antiperspirant. All those years I envisioned visiting Paris, the City of Light, with a fantasy of me skipping along the Seine’s riverbank, tossing cherry blossoms in the air and singing, “Oh happy day!” But there I was, in reality, cruising the Seine River on a barge-like dinner boat, seated at a table covered in white linen with shimmering wine glasses and fancy china dishes. Castles and ornate statues and colorful flower gardens hailed us from the river’s shore. Our river boat didn’t have air conditioning on that humid and muggy day, with the temperature teetering around 97 degrees. So Jodee and I fanned ourselves with the menus, too warm to pay attention to the scenic view. Everyone on the boat fanned themselves in a huge mass of fluttering menus. Many of my fellow cruisers began dousing themselves with the ice water from their water glasses. First politely dipping their linen napkin in the water glass and dabbing the cool water on their face. But the dabbing didn’t do the job and the process evolved into drenching entire bodies with the water from their glass. “Waiter! More water, please! No, don’t pour it in my glass, just dump on my head, thank you.” Our tour guide had explained on the bus ride to Paris, “This weather is unusual for us. We usually have weather in the 70s this time of year.” Ohhh! Lucky (sarcasm) us! We get to experience a Paris heat wave. I admit, Paris is the most beautiful city on earth even when it’s boiling. No question. But stifling heat can take your mind off of beauty. Yes, even the beauty of Paris. And if that isn’t shocking to you, I don’t know what is. read more

Maybe It’s Okay To Speak Your Mind in Scotland, part VII

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Things about Scotland.

The garden at Edinburgh Castle.

The garden at Edinburgh Castle.

1.The Scottish prefer Americans to blurt out crass comments they agree with, but would never say and politely keep to themselves.

I mentioned to a Scottish lady ringing up my purchase that I found the Scottish people warmer and friendlier than the British, who seem more reserved. She quipped, “You said it. I didn’t.”

2.The salesclerks in Scotland neatly wrap your purchases in paper before putting it in a bag.

The Scots never ask you, as sales people in America often do, “Do you want a bag?” The Scottish know you want a bag and that you would like it wrapped with perfectly folded edges. The salespeople in America ask if you want a bag with your purchase and then shoot you a facial expression that threatens, “Don’t make me get a bag for you. Don’t make me hate you for wasting a tree.” It’s not easy carrying things without a bag. If we don’t bring our own bag and we don’t accept a store bag, then we can only hope we wore a big, baggy shirt to stretch out and carry our items in. If I forget to wear the baggy shirt, I refrain from buying cantaloupes or watermelons. read more