Category Archives: updates

What All Women Must Have

 Girlfriends…

A study conducted by the UCLA School of Medicine found that when we're with our girlfriends, our bodies emit the "feel good" hormone oxytocin, helping us reduce everyday stress.

A study conducted by the UCLA School of Medicine found that when we’re with our girlfriends, our bodies emit the “feel good” hormone oxytocin, helping us reduce everyday stress.

You can talk about things you’re interested in with your girlfriends. And, avoid the kind of topics men find fascinating, such as the workings of an engine or how .30 caliber rounds will reach terminal velocities of 300 feet per second.

You laugh at each others’ jokes. Some men, more specifically husbands, don’t understand real humor. Tell a husband a joke and he’ll squint his eyes to slits, scrunch his face as if he suddenly came down with intestinal gas and utter, “I don’t get it.” Girlfriends laugh with you and don’t even care if they don’t get it. They think you’re funny anyway and they love the way you added your sultry Mae West impression to your story. Really good girlfriends not only laugh with you but slap their knee and say, “You are soooo funny.” Those are the girlfriends whose birthdays you remember. read more

Beware the Toilet in Room 26

Hotel Vendome, Prescott, Arizona (where your life is never the same once you stay here).

Hotel Vendome, Prescott, Arizona (where your life, and perhaps hairstyle, are never the same once you stay here).

“I can’t find the key,” I told Jerry and dumped the contents of my purse on the Victorian carpet of the hotel’s hallway.  My wallet, driver’s license, lip gloss, Tic Tac mints, and receipts hit the floor. Jerry stood silently as I searched for our room key, the only one issued to us. Jerry held a luggage bag strapped to his shoulder and a suitcase propped beside him.

“I’ll tell the lady at the front desk,” I said as Jerry continued to stand silently in front of our locked room, number 26. He had a long-suffering, trying-to-understand-how-this-happened expression. read more

Life at the Wilson’s

"Being in a long marriage is a little bit like a nice cup of coffee--I might have it every day but I still enjoy it." ~Stephen Gaines

“Being in a long marriage is a little bit like a nice cup of coffee–I might have it every day but I still enjoy it.”
~Stephen Gaines

 Coffee cups (no sharing at our house)

“Jerry, are you drinking coffee from my cup?”

“Oh, is this your cup?”

“Yes, all of the Polish pottery coffee cups are mine and you’re drinking out of one. I would let you drink out of it except those cups are very expensive and if something should happen to one of them while in your possession, I’d have a hard time forgiving you.”

“Oh. Well you know what? I have coffee cups I don’t want you drinking out of. I’m going to put all my coffee cups that I bought at Disneyland in this cupboard right here. These are my coffee cups and this is my cupboard.” read more

What Lies Beyond My Day of Dread and Doctor With Bedhead

Sometimes I take mental vacations. I often go to Hawaii.

Sometimes I take mental vacations when a gynecologist pokes and prods to the point of pain. I often go to Hawaii. If bears in coconut bras greet me there, all the better.

The doctor, a gynecologist, blustered through the door of the exam room.

His silver streaked hair exploded in different directions like he hadn’t combed it in months. I’m sure a few birds nested in it. He had a wild-eyed look about him like a hunted animal seeking refuge. Perhaps he’d delivered several babies during the night and hadn’t yet had a chance to relax and tee off at the country club. He didn’t seem too interested in knowing me.  He didn’t offer a smile or a handshake, just an abrupt “I’m Dr. Badhair.” Of course his name isn’t really Badhair but I’m not using his real name to protect me. read more

Cinderella’s Eyebrows and the Lost Mystery Purse

Cinderella1

♪ ♫MIGHT AS WELL FACE IT, YOU’RE ADDICTED TO LOVE,

MIGHT AS WELL FACE IT, YOU’RE ADDICTED TO LOVE, ♪ ♫

“That is so loud,” Jerry says to me as we lean back in our movie theater seats. The movie screen features a tube of Revlon lipstick the size of the Empire State building. The song lyrics “addicted to love” blast through the speakers as plump, glossy, red lips, 20-feet tall, kiss the screen.

Jerry and I had just settled into our balcony Star Class seats. We paid extra for the seats which are roomier and more comfy than the downstairs gallery. We didn’t anticipate, however, the movie speakers would be nestled two-feet from our ears. read more