“What can I bring you to drink?” asked our waiter, Roberto.
“Coffee,” Jerry said without looking up from the menu.
As Roberto sped away, I said to Jerry, “You sound kind of grumpy.”
He said, “My back hurts. I didn’t mean to sound grumpy. I’ll feel better when I have coffee.”
We scooped the warm complimentary tortilla chips into the bean dip and munched as we waited. Roberto returned to our table empty-handed.
“I’m sorry, but we don’t have regular coffee. We have decaf. Would you like decaf?”
The woodworking plane and its box that I bought in Wales as a souvenir for Jerry.
When I returned from my journey to the British Isles, I pulled something special from my suitcase to give to Jerry…
The special item came from an antique shop in Llangollen, Wales. I had stepped inside the shop because I hoped to find a butler’s bell, such as the kind featured in Downton Abbey. No butler bells availed themselves, but lots of vintage tools did. I remembered that Jerry loves old tools and knew he wouldn’t appreciate a trinket souvenir, (like a coin bank in the shape of a British mailbox~I bought that for myself.) I knew he’d love one of the shop’s vintage woodworking planes lined up on a table. I picked up a few of the planes and they weighed as much as a car (a small car like a Mini Cooper because if they weighed as much as an Audi A4 I wouldn’t be able to lift it.)
Last night I sat at a booth in a Mexican restaurant with two girlfriends, whom ~ for the purposes of their protection ~ I’ll call Sunshine and Sunflower.
We chatted away, munching on tortilla chips, and laughing at our good fortune of enjoying girlfriend therapy, which is so much cheaper than other kinds of therapy. Not to mention, so much safer. (Insanity is not good for the health of others.) Besides, what professional counselor lets you chomp on tortilla chips and salsa during a counseling session?
Prospectors in the 1800s camped at Big Bug Creek in search of gold. Giant insects attacked one group of prospectors in 1863, thus the name Big Bug Creek~as the story goes (which I read online).
“I want to go home,” I tell Jerry. “It’s creepy here. I hear monkeys outside.”
“Aw, c’mon. Have fun. I’m having fun. Be adventurous.”
It’s a little before sunset and we’re inside Cabin #4 on Big Bug Creek.
When we checked in at the front desk at the main lodge, I asked the clerk if he knew why the creek is named Big Bug Creek. I hoped he would calm my apprehensions of mammoth bugs waiting for us in our cabin.
The clerk, a sixtyish gentleman wearing gray slacks hoisted by suspenders, answered without making eye contact. “I have no idea,” he said. “We have no big bugs. Now, please read this form and sign it.”
Walk? (yawn)
1. Traffic lights at pedestrian crosswalks. They flash “walk” or “don’t walk.” But I’d like to have mystery traffic lights that surprise us? How about “run” and “don’t run”? This gets the heartbeat up and good for our health. I mentioned this suggestion to Jerry and he said, “If people run, they have a better chance of tripping or darting out in front of a car, so walking is better.” But is it? We can look both ways and make a note not to trip no matter what the sign commands. How about a “Hootchie Cootchie” and “Don’t Hootchie Cootchie” traffic light? Pedestrians would cross the road while shaking their shoulders and hips. The traffic lights could have speakers as Creedence Clearwater belts out: “Big wheel keep on turnin’, Proud Mary keep on burnin’
Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ on the river
Rollin’, rollin’, rollin’ on the river.”
